Working on a new piece for my demo reel. My intention is to replace some of the older pieces over the next couple of months which no longer represent my abilities as an animator. So far this is just the bare bones blocking of poses. Any comments or critiques thus far?
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3 comments:
Hi Sean. Happy new year. I've been off the grid for a while and didn't realize that you had some work up to be critiqued. Hope this isn't too little too late.
First of all, nice choice in audio. Good Will Hunting, right? Currently I'm practicing three areas of acting (Keith Lango homework) text, context, and subtext.
text: " Are you going to plagiarize this whole thing for us?...." etc.
context: In a social atmosphere, conflict is developing between two characters where one is accusing the other of being a fraud and a jerk.
subtext: The one speaking is reacting to what he considers a violation of social propriety... on two levels. One level is of being a fraud, but even worse of attempting to embarrass another fellow while trying to impress some girls. Feeling contempt for the person he is addressing he works his way to a conclusion that is asked rhetorically. The last part is the genuine dismissal... that of being a petty jerk.
BTW: a frame counter would help with critiquing.
Nice use of pause for anticipation in the reversal on:
"...thoughts of your own on this matter?"
After this, I very much like the way he settles on to his stool and then leans in more to ask, "Is that your thing?" He is still doing the business of a weight shift and settle before finishing the remark while leaning in. Nice use of what in music is called phrasing.
"You pretend... ya-ya, you pawn it off as if your own?" Nice reversals at this moment (as you have done throughout) and this moment and gestures feel very authentic.
There is a nice thing going on in the pause where he reaches for the glass and stops. Its as if he has been interrupted in the social nature of that place and is temporarily trying to go back to it, only to be sucked back into this problem of trying to figure out what this other fellows' agenda is. There is some nice 'smutter' in the audio track at that moment. This little bit of business with the glass will work well with the sound of a little lip smack that happens in the pause.
I think the glass should be closer to your main character. It doesn't look like where I what have my pint of brew sitting while at a bar. Awkwardly far away. I also believe that his hand could stay on it longer and maybe fiddle with it as he leads into saying "... to impress some girls..." Like he would rather be taking a sip than to deal with this jerk but the main character has to resolve what his feelings are first.
I think, despite some very nice contrast that you have put into the poses, this sequence pretty much ends where it starts in terms of posing. He could perhaps begin standing, turned from us a little, and his first statement could happen while 'stepping into the conversation' figuratively and literally, turning to address this jerk. At the end, now on his stool, with his beer, and concluding what it is about this guy that he really has him bothered about he could start turning away slightly as his voice intensity is trailing off on "...embarrass my friend?"
I think the doing business parts of this sequence are strong but could be stronger. The idea that this is part of a continuous set of events is not supported as well as it could be with the first and last pose are so similar. I think the main character could appear to be moving in the beginning as if he has just arrived on the scene before setting on his stool. I also believe the audio intensity indicates his interest in this jerk is trailing off at the end... as if what bugs him is not that he is a fraud but, just that he is a petty jerk, and now he has that figured out.
It would be nice to see what you intend to do with the second character. This would flesh out the scene a lot better so we have an idea regarding the social dynamics. Is this other character embarrassed? is he arrogant? Oblivious? Offended?
I Wow thanks for the critique Erik! It is from Good Will Hunting. I wasnt 100% sure what was wrong with this piece so ive kinda held off on it but i think you nailed it!
It felt like it had some good meat but no real bread to speak of...no bookends. I like your idea of the character coming into the conversation...almost like he wasnt planning on engaging with this man until now. Whatever this man said right before we came into it was enough to stop our character from holding his tongue. Almost like he didnt want to attack this guy but he just has to. I was trying to make it seem like the character just realized, "you know what, this guys is just a jerk and im going back to the beer i forgot about." Im glad that idea got across. And also, it will work better if he sort of trails off and goes back into his social engagement he was trying to have.
As far as the second character goes, his identity is partly a gag so ill hold off on revealing that but ill just say he is quite surprised and hurt that someone sees him as a jerk.
Ill post a revision in the next day or so.
Thanks Erik!
Sean
Oh, I see. So, you are going to be all sneaky and keep your hand close to your chest. Ok, if that's how you are going to be about it.
I'll check back for updates. Hopefully the beginning of the semester goes smoothly and I can keep up with what you have going on here.
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